One child moves in with parent and “surprise” inherits everything – Part 1
- Part 1 of a scenario where one child move in with a last surviving parent to “help” and ends up with the bulk of the estate – from the perspective where the parent is not manipulated but uses their wealth to express their appreciation.
A Financial Advisor asked how to protect against an unscrupulous sibling manipulating your last surviving parent into making estate planning changes.
He described this scenario:
“One of the situations I commonly come up against in dealing with clients is where the last surviving parent is close to death but still has a sharp mind…or sharp enough and allows one of the children, often with a spouse, to move in under the guise of helping out.
…
At the time of passing often a new will appears to the surprise and horror of the other siblings or joint ownership starts to appear on everything from the house to investment and bank accounts etc…”
The question he posed: “My question is what options do the heirs have to make sure that leading up to death and after, that there is no funny business?”
He went on: “Would a taped video with the parent and all the children stating their intent help? Is there a way to block the unscrupulousness of the one child? Is there a way to register the will in such a way that it can’t be changed without the signature of all involved?”
The Financial Advisor didn’t ask for my feelings, but I’m going to share them anyway.
They’re mixed.
I feel a special kind of angry when I hear about the manipulation of vulnerable seniors. I’m very motivated to figure out ways to protect them.
And yes, a child and their spouse getting rent-free accommodations and then ending up with the bulk of the parent’s estate certainly feels like manipulation.
But I also have strong feelings about the increasing physical and emotional needs of a last surviving parent.
They’ve lost their life partner. They’re social connections are also dying. Their ability to live independently is declining.
One of their children moving in might be a desperately needed and appreciated lifeline that greatly enhances their last years of life.
In my view, a senior shouldn’t have to get permission to use their wealth to express their appreciation for that lifeline.
I’ve written a three-column series about the legal principle of “undue influence”.
The series is written from the opposite perspective of the Financial Advisor, providing strategies for ensuring a senior’s generosity isn’t successfully attacked after they’ve passed.
The context was a lonely senior who had left her estate to her male escort. Her closest relatives, a niece and nephew living on a different continent, are attacking her will. I look forward to hearing about and sharing the eventual outcome of that litigation.
Taking the perspective of the Financial Planner’s clients is more difficult for me.
Their concern is not about their vulnerable senior parent. Their concern is about preserving their inheritance!
But here are some suggestions:
- Make your parent the focus and priority they should be. Visit and call regularly, cognizant of their otherwise dwindling social connections,
- Encourage and facilitate your children’s relationships with them,
- Be vigilant about identifying and implementing supports that might be beneficial to your parent, which might include outside services, equipment or help you can provide yourself, and
- Be prepared to make sacrifices to follow through with supporting your parent.
By following these suggestions, you will maintain as positive a relationship with your parent as possible while ensuring that their needs are met.
The bonus to your inheritance is eliminating the window of opportunity of someone else moving in to fill the needs you’ve failed to meet.
I also recommend ensuring that your parents are fully informed about estate planning considerations and options. Consider sending them a link to my column archive. And encourage them to have a consultation with an estate planning lawyer of their choice who they meet with independently.
What they decide to do with that information is, of course, their business.
Tune in next week when I take the Financial Planner’s question more seriously. I will offer suggestions for how to guard against the true manipulation of a cognitively declining senior, where the senior is led into doing things they absolutely would not have done if fully informed of and having the capacity to understand the legal consequences of their actions.
