One child moves in with parent and “surprise” inherits everything – Part 4
- I discuss the problem of the sibling blocking access to the parent and offer suggestions to prevent that from occurring and to collect evidence to help with an appointed as your parent’s legal representative.
This is part 4 of “Surprise! No inheritance for you!”.
A sister and her husband move in with your last surviving parent under the guise of helping them out in their declining years. Your parent has been diagnosed with dementia and is gradually losing their cognitive capacity.
They live rent-free until your parent dies. Then comes the surprise about your inheritance.
Last week I recommended normalizing disclosure of your parents’ estate plan and keeping communication lines about that plan open.
I offered ideas for bringing up the subject because it can feel mighty uncomfortable raising the selfish issue of ensuring you get your financial windfall!
But this can become impossible if access to your parent becomes blocked.
This can happen gradually.
You lose direct contact when your parent doesn’t replace their phone. And your sister starts managing your parent’s e-mails.
Your sister starts giving all sorts of excuses for why your parent isn’t available to talk to you, or to visit with you.
If a call or visit is arranged, your sister supervises.
When you do connect with your parent, under your sister’s supervision, it feels strained. Your sister has poisoned your parent against you.
This can be heart wrenching, regardless of inheritance. Suspecting that greed is behind it makes it even worse.
You don’t know what your sister is doing behind the curtain of secrecy she has created.
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
Proactively establish regular alone-time with your parent.
A weekly outing if you live reasonably close. Monthly or quarterly if distance is an issue, supplemented by videoconferencing or telephone.
Shouldn’t we be doing this with our parents anyway? That was the point of my first column in this series.
Regular one-on-one visits will allow you to proactively deal with cognitive decline before it creeps up on you. While your parent continues to have the capacity to do so, you can encourage them to appoint you as attorney by power of attorney to help them with their affairs.
You can facilitate medical appointments so that the cause of the cognitive decline can be diagnosed and treated. And independently documented.
You can also use those visits to do your own documentation of your parent’s cognitive decline.
If a sibling starts trying to restrict access to your parent, or to turn them against you, you will see it coming and can push against it. Their conduct should be documented as well.
If all your efforts fail and you find yourself locked out of your cognitively impaired parent’s life, legal steps can be taken to break back in.
With the help of a lawyer, you can apply to the court to be appointed your parent’s legal representative.
The court will look very unfavourably at your sibling’s isolating conduct.
And if you find out about a new will or other estate planning that cuts you out of a rightful inheritance, your documentation will help you try to have them nullified, utilizing the legal principles I shared in the second column of this series.
I’ve recommend being proactive to avoid a manipulative legacy hunter from getting their hooks into your parent.
I also recommend proactively consulting with a lawyer as soon as you have any inkling that a problem might be brewing.
Your inheritance is a high-stakes issue. It’s well worth getting advice from a fully informed expert in estate litigation to optimize your defence against a legacy hunter.
